I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
