Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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