Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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