Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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