I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I am one with the molecules
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
