Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
