I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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