I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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