My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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