I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
