come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
