Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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