Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
