is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
