well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
