Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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