i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize