quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
