The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
