How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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