Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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