What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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