Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
