I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
