Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
