I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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