Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
