i think my tv is drunk
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
