Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Actions speak louder than pants.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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