she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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