btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
