hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize