woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He passed out mid-signature
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
