were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
