dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I puked a lego.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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