In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
