i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
