is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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