The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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