I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
