New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
