As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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