my vag is so smooth its legendary
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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