Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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