you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
its not stalking. its research.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
