I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Randomize
