it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
