Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
