cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
What changed your mind?
Being sober
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
as a side note pls kill me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
