super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
