epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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