8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize