at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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