i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
