I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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