I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
