Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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