If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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