idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Fuck appropriateness.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
