If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
